Missing person(s) – 13 Jul 2022

There are important people who are missing and one of them is our president. WHERE IS HE?

I f read my title and you thought I’d really write about that topic then no, I have a job and I have a future and I don’t want to die unnecessarily. But there are important people who are missing and one of them is our president. WHERE IS HE? The last time I tried searching for our president, I saw an old man with a namaz cap walking towards the mosque to pray, turns out it was our former president Mr Mamnoon Hussain. That was a sight to see, liberating, extravagant and oozing humility.

Following that damned day, I have not seen or heard from the next president of our country ever again (hint, he carries expertise in dentistry). Someone really needs to go up to his house and check if he’s still doing okay or is he just as overwhelmed as us. I was happy to see his statement in the news the other day, it went something like ‘journalists should not be harassed’. Short, precise and right on the money. I mean if the Oscars had a category for ‘best actor for stating the obvious’, our man would win it every single year. Hands down.

Following the success of captain America, we’d have captain obvious. I do agree and accept the fact that our constitution gives limited powers to the president but its funny how we’ve completely neglected our president (no he’s not the second child either). Now don’t get me wrong, he does enough work in his office. After all, denying signatures to important laws requires effort, doesn’t it? And let us not forget the effort it takes to award the Tamgha-e-Imtiaz to newbies and amateurs (we don’t care about senior artists, we never did). God knows who decided that nomination. Evades me, to date. Don’t get me wrong, our very own friendly neighborhood president also has an inflatable raft at his disposal. The one he used to campaign when he was asking for votes.

I won’t state any more facts because facts lead to controversy. Holistically, truth is always controversial but I like to provoke people so that they think. And even otherwise, who knows, I might soon need a dental checkup so I’ll keep my options open. Don’t get me wrong, we’re a country full of surprises and legends too. Which reminds me, one of our very own legends who, when it rains, decides to cruise through the city (in a car worth nearly 2 crore rupees and another protocol car worth 1 crore rupees) making videos and marveling at the fact that the city of Karachi is free from rain water all due to his ‘tireless efforts’ and the roads are as clean as a whistle. But this legend only visits those areas which are the ‘posher’ areas of the city.

But who are we to say, we’re just third class citizens, paying taxes. This isn’t the end of the story. We have people who celebrate the fact that the dollar is gaining strength against the rupee because then, overseas Pakistanis will send more money to their households which will help the economy (what?!). We have intellectuals who have reduced the budget for education and increased the budget for guns. We have great leaders who have been milking the current taxpayers while failing to broaden the tax base. We have the supreme beings who enforce ‘educational tax’ on our children when they decide to study abroad.

But how did we end up with these guys? How are people like THESE governing us? Who brought them here and why are they not leaving? And whenever they decide to leave, they leave their children upon us, to govern us. We’re millions in number, they’re a handful (no I am not saying we need to drag them out of their offices to show them how strong we are. Or maybe I am, who am I kidding). These people are here to stay for good. Now the question, who decides who will stay?

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